I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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