what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Every concussion has its silver lining
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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