Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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