So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
