i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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