Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i dont even know how to be here
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
