He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize