He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
