lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My dick has a subreddit
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
