I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
