Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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