i'm signing you up for texting rehab
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
