I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
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She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
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Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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