My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
