In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
