Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
