She's JV to your varsity
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and she was petting her beer can
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
