if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
