Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
