I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
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We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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