Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't deserve a penis
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
