all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
