She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
