I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
