Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Randomize
