so that wasnt chicken after all
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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