any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
