i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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