people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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