Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
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Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have tasted many bathrooms
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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