Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Let's get the cat blown out
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
