I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
did you just send me my own nude
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
