have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
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I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
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Dicks are not precious.
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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