im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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