So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
