You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
