You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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