am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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