covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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