dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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