I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
