After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
