You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
