can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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