his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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