shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
