so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think your dad took our porno
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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