...so i touched it.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
