how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
