Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
