She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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