So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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