Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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