mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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