You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There's always time for handjobs
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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