DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
