My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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