I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
