bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
