omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just cropdusted the office
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
