One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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