i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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