im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
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masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
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If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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