guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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