Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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