Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You ruined the universe
where are my pants?
in the oven.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
