i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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