make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I didn't notice because vodka
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
