We named our party play list daddy issues
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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