It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm just crazy horny about you
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
