Plan B is the new Plan A
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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