Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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