i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she peed on how many people?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
