So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
