I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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