So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
