Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
