He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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