I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
